D-Day 78

Bali.......4 days to go.............

Important thing to do now, plan my career path before appraisal.

Stress..............................................................

D-Day 77

5 more days and we're off to Bali!!.

Yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Faster faster faster.

D-Day 75

End of a long day...

Finally did some gym work today. Another bad episode concerning some gays. Sianzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... No choice la, wanna go gym must tahan this kind of rubbish.

Hi-tea at GxxxWxxx Pxxx. 30 bucks, not that fantastic la but got good range of drinks. Idea for my own hi-tea.

Anyway, it's overall a good day la but I'm just too tired now to write more for tonight.

All I know is I can't wait to have Bebe officially back in my life, farts and burps included.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

D-Day 74, start of D-Day 75

Just came back from Superbad.

Had a good laugh.

Anyway...

Pls don't let Bebe become what she hated me to be before.

Pls don't let all our love and efforts be washed away by some silly petty argument.

Pls keep our love strong for as long as we live.

Be it testing waters or genuine displeasure, I'm glad I've handled them as calmly as I can.

I know I'm a changed man. But there's no point in that if I'm the only one who knows that.

Let's wait and see...

Good night. Gym gym here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D-Day 73

It's been another tiring day.

I hope I recover well before the Bali trip.

Today I again felt how terrible it is to miss Bebe.

What will I do without her?

Life will be so empty.

Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her.

D-Day 72

I am sick...

D-Day 71

More life lessons learnt today.

1. Thou shall not skip sleep

Not sleeping well for a few days coupled with an extra amount of pure hard work equals a very tired man. One night of solid 7 hours of sleep DOES NOT HELP!

Note to self: Try and get regular sleep nightly.

2. Thou shall not give up trying

Try and try and try. Anyone can style hair.

Note to self: Less gel, more technique.

3. Thou shall not expect

No expectations, no disappointment. Today cannot doesn't mean another day also cannot. Hearing or feeling a loved one's joy and satisfaction is as rewarding as your own.

Note to self: More rest, less slacking, pump up the training, better blood circulation.

4. Thou shall not be "geh-kiang"

A gesture which may mean practicality and convenience on your own part does not equate to the same thing for another person, no matter how dear that person is. Different people, different modus operandi.

Note to self: "Kiang" can, don't "geh-kiang". Nobody needs a smart ass.

5. Thou shall sleep on time

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Note to self: SLEEP NOW BOZO!!!

D-Day 69(Night)

Finally finished one whole week of work.

A few more hours and I'll be seeing my Bebe for badminton liao.

So so so happy. I also don't know what to write anymore.

I love my Ah Be la!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D-Day 69

Getting ready to go to work now.

One more day to go and I can spend a day with Bebe.

Badminton. Must give chance, cannot smash, cannot trick shot, must place the shuttlecock wherever she wants it, no net, blah blah blah... So many constraints but I'll be happy to do it. Cos it's for my bebe. Who happens to be a sore loser, even playing monopoly. :)

I miss Bebe.

D-Day 67

I wore my first Indian shirt today. And the worst part was, the joker who bought it for me didn't manage to get a receipt so I can't claim a single cent of the $45 that I spent on it... I'm not being stingy but it's one piece of clothing that I'll most likely not wear again. $45. Can buy one and a half adidas top or running shorts k!

Anyway, tomorrow morning can see Bebe liao so better don't sleep too late.

So happy.

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

D-Day 66

My hard on won't subside! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bebe really doesn't realize the extent that her hotness affects me...

Call me naggy but I can't help but worry about Bebe's lack of control when it comes to drinking. To her credit, she's drinking less but there're still occasions when she drinks past her sober point and ends up high and unfocused. Times when I think of her safety if she's alone. She'll probably read this and think that I worry too much. Whatever the case la, I still worry. Cos I love her.

Looking on the bright side, Bebe gets frisky after some alcohol so I really gotta weigh the pros and cons.

But after much consideration, Bebe's safety is definitely more important than my satisfaction. Yes it's now in black and white. You can quote this post in future.

2 more weeks and we'll be going to Bali. Woopeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even remember what that place is like but I must get a tan this time!!!!!

For now I gotta tahan til Saturday morning to see my sexy Bebe. That's the price of love. Every minute that I spend with her is precious and I'm really learning to appreciate every bit of it with each passing day. Wish me luck, I want her back.

Time for bed. I hope I don't gel a half moon again tomorrow.

I love Bebe. More and more each day.

D-Day 65

I AM SO TIRED.

GOOD NIGHT...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

D-Day 64

The past.

Everyone has one, be it good or bad.

At the end of the day, some people choose or claim to let go. But how many of them really do?

As for me, I've made my choice.

I choose to accept the past. Both mine and Bebe's.

Accept it, learn from it, maybe have a good laugh over it and move on.

But the key is, accept it as part of what we are. Our past makes us what we are today.

Without a past, there won't be a present or future.

So there my dear, you have my answer.

D-Day 63

I'm clearing my email in the office now. It's the first time today that I've stepped in here cos it's been a blur since I started work today. Out of nowhere, my outlet became full house within an hour and I'm understaffed by 4...

Anyway, decided to write a little now cos I have to get to bed straight when I get home. Breakfast today was a mess cos they couldn't cope so boss wants me to start tomorrow and Wednesday an hour earlier to relive the pressure. So it'll be 2 straight full days for me. Only got my back to worry about...

Badminton... Bebe and I are going to play badminton next Monday... Our first badminton session together. Come to think of it, she'll be just my 2nd girlfriend who's played badminton with me. Anyway, I play like crap so who knows I might get thrashed by her. It's all in the name of fun so if she ends up liking it, we might even do it more often who knows. It's good to have something in common for once, minus the bitching about people.

Okie! Back to work, finish up some forecasts and it's time to rush to the stupid no light bus stop and wait 20 minutes for the stupid bus.

Cheers!

D-Day 62

My sun nearly set for good today...

There have been times I thought I was doing what I needed to do and I keep it from people I care about cos I simply don't want them to worry. Looking back, alot of things I could have not done cos of the risks involved. What might have been right at the spur of the moment more often then not turns out stupid when the adrenaline dies down.

So no action pattern more than badminton. Just take everything calm composed and focused from henceforth.

So at the end of the day, I wanna say thank you for everything to Bebe.

I am relieved and delighted that my sun did not set for good today.

Good night.

D-Day 61

It's 1105pm on after a long long long day...

Full house for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Coupled with the fact that both meals at the staff canteen were horrendous, the fact that I'm still alive is a very good thing I guess...:)

One more night and I'll get to spend time with my most precious Bebe. I wouldn't try and be a hero and say that I'm feeling strong and ok right now cos seriously my back hurts like hell. Trying very hard not to pop pills to prevent dependency but I think I'll pop some before bed later.

I know I'm working so hard for a better future so I won't complain. Lots of stuff have been happening in the company that's really affecting the morale of the bulk of the people here. But after careful consideration, I bust my ass every single day, without carrying any balls to excel in my area of work. No complaints no whining. Just pushing forward as strongly as I can. So if shit decides to happen again, I think I'm really many queue numbers away.

So no more worrying. Just do whatevr's within my means to be the best in my field. And hopefully someone will recognize my contributions or potential and offer me a clearer brighter picture ahead.

Til then, I'm still in the process of changing for the better as a person...

In the end, when everything falls into place, I hope Bebe is there. Mine. Officially mine.

D-Day 59

Weekend burnt...

I'm spending my weekend from Friday to Sunday morning in the hotel...

Lunch, dinner, sleep, breakfast, lunch, dinner, sleep, breakfast!!!!! That's 6 meal periods in a row!!!!!! Iron man!!! My version of a triathlon.

But I think it's worth it la cos if nothing goes wrong I'll get to spend Sunday with Bebe...

With the year end appraisal coming, I guess I got no choice but to slog my butt off...

I hope my back holds up...

I really miss Bebe so much so much so much...

Life sucks without her. It really does.

D-Day 58

It was just a long long day......

And the single highlight of the day, Bebe and me made up. :)

Sleep in peace...

D-Day 57

From happy to sad.

The quality of my days changes as suddenly as the weather these days.

How would you feel if someone tells you that your performance bonus has already been pre-determined by someone who hates your guts? Or that it doesn't matter how much good you do, marked is marked?

Anyway, I was going to happily end my day seeing Bebe but again something has to go wrong.

Tired Bebe+After 10pm+Long distance+No parking+"Supposed" slow service+Crappy food = Recipe for disaster.

That was how my night ended.

I seriously hope tomorrow will be better.

I'm too sad and tired to write more for now.

Good night.

Sometimes things may not be my fault...

D-Day 56

Today was a beautiful day.

Spent the day at Sentosa since last night. Poor bebe couldn't sleep properly again. Didn't get to swim cos her "auntie" came so my tan's gotta wait til Bali liao.

Little silly misunderstanding over whether SQ was the best in the world that was resolved within half an hour. Long? Beats a whole day right?

We both are trying extra hard to make this work.

I believe we can.

Thank you for everything Bebe.

I really really love you.

Sleep tight.

D-Day 55

We can be so happy together.

The challenge is to make it last.

D-Day 54

Another long day.

Why can't she see that I love her more than I love the physicalities?

She just doesn't see.

It's draining me.

D-Day 53

Big headache la.

Again quarrelled over silly petty stuff.

I should just try and keep my mouth shut...

I shall go on trying til I can't try anymore.

Hopefully that day never comes.

I'm so worn out...

D-Day 52

It's 15 mins past our supposed 2nd anniversary.

It's such a strong deep feeling of despair and sadness that I feel with each passing day.

Everything could have been fine if I hadn't lost control.

Now I can only pray and hope. Hope that this darkness will lead to some light soon.

It is getting unbearable not having Bebe as mine.

She is the one I wanna spend my life with.

Confirm guarantee plus chop.

D-Day 51

Today is supposed to be me and Bebe's 2nd anniversary.

Supposed to be.

I know I'm responsible for the current situation that we're in but seriously, I'm doing everything within my means to make it up.

3 months. That's her time limit.

It is the longest darkest period in my life. Everyday without her is plain torture. Though it seems to the outside world that everything's fine, we both know mentally it's not fine. At least for Bebe...

I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused.

I do hope my redemption will come some day.

I'm just too filled with sadness to continue writing.

For now.

D-Day 50

It's the mornign before I start work.

Since it's still early I've decided to write a little.

Who decides how long is the correct period for redemption? I guess when you're the one at fault, there really isn't much you can complain about is there? So 3 months has been set. Like it or not, I'll still have to go through with it. Why? Stupid? Stubborn? Sore loser? None of the above. Only simply cos I love her.

She's been acting cranky lately. But I've also gotta analyze my own behaviour. Maybe I should just talk less. Better for everyone. She's happy, I also won't get yelled at randomly.

Love. Can't live with it, can't live without it. So I go on.

Enjoy my week Big Head.

Tomorrow is 2nd anniversary... Supposed...

D-Day 49

I'm a good person. I know that. But somehow it just doesn't seem to cut it.

I'm supposed to celebrate my 2nd anniversary on Wednesday. Supposed to. That's the focus.

I am really really tired. Don't know why but I'm just plain exhausted.

I don't wanna not know what I want anymore. I know who I love. I know who I want. I just don't know when I'll get what I want.

I don't wanna be exhausted anymore. I'll strive on til I drop.

Good night.

D-Day 48

End of a long week.

Every night's been full house. The whole team's exhausted.

I'm just glad I'll get to rest tomorrow.

3 more days and it's gonna be me and Bebe's supposed second anniversary. It's really been a long long way. I'm just comforted by the fact that she still stuck around.

My brain is too dead to think of something meaningful to write now. So I shall go sleep first. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to write more.

I love you Bebe.